“The Question of Divorce”
October 6, 2024
Mark 10:2–16
Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ He answered them, ‘What did Moses command you?’ They said, ‘Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.’ But Jesus said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, “God made them male and female.” “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’
Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.’
People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.’ And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them. ***
It began with a loaded question. She appeared before me during one of my first Sunday mornings with the congregation. Wearing a colorful print dress and nicely coiffed hair, she appeared harmless. I extended my hand as she approached, opened my mouth — -but before I could say anything, she said, “Preacher, do divorced people go to hell?”
Almost dropping my coffee cup. I thought, “I just got through all the hoops to become a pastor. What is this? Another test of some sort?”
My brain raced through its hard drive for anything I had learned in pastoral care classes, or even New Testament courses, that I might offer her. I wanted to say anything to get myself out of this uncomfortable spot.
Finally, I spoke, “Even clergy get divorced.”
Later that week during a conversation in her home, she told me about her son who had recently divorced. The pain and anguish spread across her face. Behind her Sunday morning question was a deep concern for her son, who had chosen to end a troubled marriage and was about to remarry.
As a dedicated reader of the Bible, she knew Jesus’ words to the Pharisees who put him to the “test” with the question about divorce. She knew his words to the disciples: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.”
It was a loaded question some Pharisees posed to Jesus to test him. “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” The question set the trap. There are other similar traps found in the Gospel of Mark, like “should we pay taxes to the emperor?” (Mark 12:14) and “if a woman successively marries seven brothers, whose wife will she be in heaven?” (Mark 12:23).
This reading’s scene proceeds as a confrontation in which Jesus shows that the Pharisees misunderstand God’s design and misuse scripture to justify their errors. They knew full well that the Law of Moses (Deuteronomy 24:1–4)[1] allowed a man to divorce his wife. Under Jewish law, men could issue a “certificate of divorce” to their wives. A woman receiving such would lose most of her rights, including any property she owned. The Pharisees are looking to drag Jesus into the debate of the times: what are the legitimately legal grounds for divorce.
Today, we error if we take Jesus’ words about divorce and marriage as rigid, legal principle. Jesus is moving beyond the technique of the Pharisees, where a legalistic approach can answer everything.
Instead in debating the Pharisees, Jesus appeals to a greater law, the law of God’s creation. He turns the conversation away from the legal foundation for divorce to God’s design for marriage. That is, he dismisses the law as a concession to human weakness and offers a distinct perspective rooted in creation (quoting Genesis 1:27; 2:24).
As Jesus turns back to the creation story to speak of divorce, he reminds us of the preciousness of every person; that people are not meant to be used, but are to be cared for and treasured as though the one we commit ourselves to were as dear to us as though we were actually physically joined to one another.
The reality is that marriages, having immense potential as places of mutual respect and concern, are also sometimes breeding places for abuse and neglect. In a broken world, divorce is sometimes necessary. Jesus’ words give glimpse to the pain reflected in divorce which is not part of God’s intent.
But let’s admit it. This passage falls hard on our hearts and minds. It prompts us to see the faces of family and friends, or our own divorce experiences. Much more pleasant are thoughts of people coming together in the marriage celebration. I never officiated at a wedding which was not marked by great hope. The binding together of two lives, hearts and hopes, dreams and plans. Unlike the days of the Pharisees, divorce is no simple breaking of a contract. It is a tearing apart, a rendering of everything involved in life. The heartache and loss is deep and lasting. Children, parents, siblings, friends — no one is spared.
In past generations, the words of Jesus were heard as judgment on those who divorced. While some still hear these verses as judgment, these days everyone has been touched by divorced. We know the pain. It is not as easy to judge when you are sharing in the pain.
It is helpful now to bring in the second portion of the reading. For the third week in a row, we have Jesus’ speaking in the midst and on behalf of children. “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” (Mark 10:14–15)
I do not believe it is a coincidence that children and vulnerability have been part of these difficult texts. Charles Campbell writes that Jesus reminds his disciples that one enters the kingdom of God only by receiving it in complete dependence on God. One does not enter the kingdom through the fulfillment of any abstract legal principles, including those related to divorce and remarriage.[2]
With this reference to children, Jesus offers comfort to divorced persons who may feel on the periphery of God’s love and favor. Remember, children are compared to the “servant of all,” meaning without power, vulnerable. Women divorced in Jesus’ time were certainly without power and vulnerable, and yet Jesus insists that the kingdom of God belongs to them. It has come near in Jesus.
Years later, the woman who almost made me spit up my Sunday morning coffee by posing the question of divorce, had outgrown the fear and judgement regarding divorce. Her faith had matured. Beyond the distress about her son’s divorce and rigid beliefs about sin and punishment, she had come understand these verses in the light of the cross and a servant God who loves through the suffering, pain and brokenness.
The Good News in these verses, despite the many emotions it strikes in us, is that not only is the kingdom of God near, but that all who live with the pain and loss of divorce are not alone. They too are welcomed into the loving arms of Jesus and claimed to be part of the kingdom of God.
[1] Law of Moses Deuteronomy 24:1–4 “Suppose a man enters into marriage with a woman, but she does not please him because he finds something objectionable about her, and so he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house; she then leaves his house and goes off to become another man’s wife. Then suppose the second man dislikes her, writes her a bill of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house (or the second man who married her dies); her first husband, who sent her away, is not permitted to take her again to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that would be abhorrent to the Lord, and you shall not bring guilt on the land that the Lord your God is giving you as a possession.”
[2] Feasting on the Word, Vol. 4, Ed. David Bartlett & Barbara Brown Taylor, p. 143)
Image: Eric Hibbeler / The Kansas City Star;
